Learn from Bigger and Better

Today in my academic writing class, I have learned about how to write a good commentary of data. It was not the content of the lesson that fascinated me the most; it was the lecturing method of my professor that stimulated a wonder in my insolent mind. The way he delivers the lesson is so organized that he leaves no detail unmentioned. I have taught English in primary school, and then in high school, for almost six years in total, but I don’t remember teaching the children in so complete form even for a period. I feel guilty and ashamed to mention that I am a trained English teacher.
I have learnt that what matters the most as a teacher is the attitude towards the subject and the students. I haven’t taken making lesson plan seriously, besides failing to prepare it for these long years. Preparation and planning were thought differently and I always went with the latter for it was easier for me since it involves less physical work. I needn’t write anything. Often I just looked at what has to be taught in the class and hadn’t even thought about my objectives, let alone the approaches I would be using in delivering the lesson. That made me to stick to one method always. There were indeed very less varieties in my teaching. I followed the old style of teaching though I am aware of many modern skills and strategies. What held me back?

I can have only one reason and that is my indolent nature which abates many good intention and vigor in me. Did I say vigour?

If I have, that instinct called vigor, then why didn’t I work harder for the children? Vigor should have won over any sort of hurdle in working but it never happened in me. I have lost myself almost every time to some unimportant stuff like surfing through the internet and many aimless task which eats up my time which otherwise would make a significant difference in the way I work. 

I get emotionally strayed by various thought which results in unfocused trudge and fails me finding anything in my life. I have come to know the areas I have to strive but this weaker than “chicken’s heart” pulls me back with senseless thoughts. What I try to say is expressed by the things I have written here. This write-up means nothing because I am thinking nothing in particular. Neither am I looking up to make some sense out of what I am writing because I am writing for the sake of writing and nothing is to be taken seriously. 

This should be just a record of my weirdness.