Into the wee hour of this night and many alike, I sit awake all alone in this room trying to sort out what runs through and across my mind. Mind lingers and heart shrinks over myriad things; wish everything comes in vivid forms and shapes, so that I could paint them with clarity of arts. Thought blows hard with surge of regret for being far from home, parents, wife, siblings and duty.
Dreaming a dream of wisdom and knowledge, I craved and then crafted this opportunity, which has brought me at the threshold of wises and intellectuals, the world of scholars and erudition. But then, it hasn't pacified my world of urge and thirst, rather it has changed the course of my hunger and longing. Now it is not my future that I want to pursue, but to make my present meaningful. I came to know for myself that I was far before ready to serve the world, not because I am by any means academically qualified or because I have gathered to become a store of knowledge of the world, but my heart was big to accommodate what I have and need to do in order to serve humanity. So, mastering in a subject, which I am hurdling now will neither make me wiser nor will it make me better performer. I say this, for what I've always believed was in perfection, and I claim to have been perfect every time.
'Did I say I am perfect?'
'Yes I did', by my own accord. For I have my own definition of perfect being or being perfect. 'Perfection for me is the state of the most I can do or be.'
And now I reckon to myself of what I have been doing in my life and I must say, what I have been doing was the most I could have done. If nobody observed what I have been doing as something to be looked upon as remarkable, that really does not bother me for I could not have, or I can never do anything more than that. That is all my strength and I have given over the whole of it. What would have seemed to others as something below average or mediocre was something I did as my best, and I am satisfied because I did the best I could and haven't shun off with the fear of onlookers' boo.
So, what made me believe that I need to acquire something more to serve better? That, I must say, were prejudice, social drive, young man's urge and ride-on-ego. It is also engendered by the norm of educated society and implied demand of professional system. But, now, I say to myself, being away from home, parents, siblings, wife and duty in the name of studying in a foreign land is not a sacrifice worth a while. Indeed it isn't a sacrifice at all for it does no good to any one, and if it does it is to oneself alone. And, sacrifice made for oneself isn't a sacrifice but satiating one's selfishness.
The life is not at all so long to say one has lived enough with one's loved ones, doing the best one could at the work place. Besides, man is never less educated because he has no degree or masters; what he can do for the society is not by what he acquired but by the heart that thrushes in the service of humanity.
Dreaming a dream of wisdom and knowledge, I craved and then crafted this opportunity, which has brought me at the threshold of wises and intellectuals, the world of scholars and erudition. But then, it hasn't pacified my world of urge and thirst, rather it has changed the course of my hunger and longing. Now it is not my future that I want to pursue, but to make my present meaningful. I came to know for myself that I was far before ready to serve the world, not because I am by any means academically qualified or because I have gathered to become a store of knowledge of the world, but my heart was big to accommodate what I have and need to do in order to serve humanity. So, mastering in a subject, which I am hurdling now will neither make me wiser nor will it make me better performer. I say this, for what I've always believed was in perfection, and I claim to have been perfect every time.
'Did I say I am perfect?'
'Yes I did', by my own accord. For I have my own definition of perfect being or being perfect. 'Perfection for me is the state of the most I can do or be.'
And now I reckon to myself of what I have been doing in my life and I must say, what I have been doing was the most I could have done. If nobody observed what I have been doing as something to be looked upon as remarkable, that really does not bother me for I could not have, or I can never do anything more than that. That is all my strength and I have given over the whole of it. What would have seemed to others as something below average or mediocre was something I did as my best, and I am satisfied because I did the best I could and haven't shun off with the fear of onlookers' boo.
So, what made me believe that I need to acquire something more to serve better? That, I must say, were prejudice, social drive, young man's urge and ride-on-ego. It is also engendered by the norm of educated society and implied demand of professional system. But, now, I say to myself, being away from home, parents, siblings, wife and duty in the name of studying in a foreign land is not a sacrifice worth a while. Indeed it isn't a sacrifice at all for it does no good to any one, and if it does it is to oneself alone. And, sacrifice made for oneself isn't a sacrifice but satiating one's selfishness.
The life is not at all so long to say one has lived enough with one's loved ones, doing the best one could at the work place. Besides, man is never less educated because he has no degree or masters; what he can do for the society is not by what he acquired but by the heart that thrushes in the service of humanity.
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